Trick or Treat?

It's Halloween! I was contemplating buying some candies for the kids that would come knocking on my door for Trick or Treat yesterday when doing groceries, but decided not to stock on it. In the last two halloween, I wasn't home, but I'll be home tonight by 8pm, wonder if any kids will come knocking on my door. Guess I'll just pretend that no one is home! Sorry kids...

I've always felt sad having never been on a Trick or Treat collecting candies (imagine how fun that would be!) or getting all dressed up in a costume. Well, while many friends of mine have volunteered to bring me since I kinda qualify as a 12-year old with my height, I've declined with a polite thank you. See, they wanted to share my candies! Hahaha, not that I wouldn't share any of it though.

I remember on my first Halloween in Canada, there were so many people on campus wearing costumes for an entire day!!! The most memorable? Is this guy wearing only a Superman Underwear during a freezing cold -20c day (this year's winter is late, it's only -4c now)...I wonder how he survived it. This year, the costume wearers kinda depleted, I only saw a few today - Incredibles, Witches, a transvestite (this guy was dressed up really sexy...no idea how that costume came to become a halloween one...) and a little kid wearing a cute leopard print costume while holding onto his own tail. I'm sure I'll see more later on when I get outta this computer lab. Heading to the movies with my German friend after this. Been so long since I've been to the movies. Ok, so back to the Halloween costumes. My friend Michelle was asking me what I would wana be if given the chance. Hmmm...I think I would wana be Tinkerbell...you know, the cute little fairy on Peter Pan. She has these cute outfit and really nice wings.

How about you? What would you wana be?

I got hit

I got hit by a virus on my PC yesterday. My friend Nilos "sent" (more like the virus sent) me a file on MSN, and without thinking about it, I simply opened it. I mean, Norton Antivirus pops up with "this file may contain a virus" all the time, so how was I supposed to know that this time it is for real? Sighs...anyway, the damage is quite bad, I can't login to anything on a secured site - Webmail, Hotmail, Business School personal page. This is just pure bad luck since I have two more midterms and in need of access to my personal page on Blackboard (School of Business personal page). Had to print off needed materials for my prep for Finance Midterm tomorrow on campus before I head home soon.

During times like this, I wish my computer expert friends like Voon, Dutt Way and Chin Wee were here to help me fix the problem. Sigh...

I smsed Nilos today to see if he had a solution:

Me: Hey Nilos, I got the virus from you yesterday. How do I fix it?

Nilos: Everyone I know got it. We're working on it. Will let you know when I find something out.

I sure do hope you find something out soon, Nilos!

=rand()

Learnt that Microsoft programs can be quite hilarious from my Mgtsc 352 class today.

Try typing this in an empty Power Point slide:

=rand()

The output is pretty interesting, eh? Anyhow, not to worry, we weren't learning silly tricks like that with Microsoft programs, this is a real function on Excel.

Scenic

A scenic picture on part of the Rocky Mountain for you (and me) to relax on.

Lake Moraine 

Think.com

I've recently found an online magazine that I really like.

Check it out:

http://www.think.com.my/index.cfm

-7c

Woke up this morning to the chirping alarm clock, and switched on my radio. The weather was reportedly -7c then. I thought, hmmm, it's the lowest temperature of this season... alright, will get my act together with some light mittens and a scarf. That'll do the trick, I reckon.

Out the door I went, and boy, it was freeezzzzing cold! It was so frosty outside that even the grass seemed to have a layer of frost on it, and everywhere seemed a little whittish - though it ain't snow, no, not yet! I think my T-shirt, sweater and wind/water resistance fleece lining jacket didn't do the trick. Maybe it's time to line up my winter gear in the closet. Sighs...

Once again, I'm back to the reality of the big bad harsh weather in Canada. Now it's only -7c and I know I shouldn't be complaining...it's 'mild' weather, but but but...I think going back to Malaysia in the summer spoiled me! I'm used to hot weather, and oh, how I miss the sun-kissing hot weather in Msia!

During my first winter, I couldn't comprehend that there were actually residents in this land of Cold Canada, because it dropped to -30c/-35c for a week. And I thought to myself, man, this weather is only suitable for white furry cute polar bears, it ain't for humans. But then again, there are real people who live here, and so have I for two years. Guess we just gota let our body do the adaptation to become more weather resistant - or, turn into a polar bear.

Midterm Mania

It's going crazy right now, kinda stressed for my following midterms:

Friday: Econ 282
Monday: Religion 220 - Islam
Thursday: Finance 412
Friday: Mgtsc 352

Please pray for me. Really need it, quite stressed now, sighs.

My Condolences

My Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's wife, Datin Seri Endon Mahmood just passed
away. She fought with breast cancer for nearly four years, and was 64. I didn't know she was nearing last stage...but I guess with cancer, it really is unpredictable. It must be a devastating time for my PM and his family. We grieve with him.

She will be remembered as a fighter, and one who's always with a smile and a periang (Malay-cheerful/happy) person. She will be missed by us, Malaysians.

My deepest condolence to my Prime Minister and his family.

Datin Seri Endon Mahmood 

Niyya

Yup, so I did the one day Ramadan fast I vowed to do yesterday. It wasn't exactly very difficult, but it was to a certain extent. Let's see...I put my alarm clock at 5.50am just so I can consume some water before the starting of the fast at 6am (yeah, so worried about getting dehydrated and pengsan during the day)...and I went back to sleep. Normally, a Muslim family would wake up around 5am to have breakfast together as a family before the starting of the fast. Of course, I was too lazy for that in the wee hours in the morning. The whole day went by, leaving me mmm, somewhat dehydrated and in hunger. And I broke fast at exactly 6.40pm, hahaa. Throughout all, it wasn't so bad an experience.

Now, what got me thinking throughout the day was,"Why do Muslims do it?" Naturally one does it because a Muslim is called to do it, since it is revealed by Allah - Five Pillars of Islam. However, I'm sure there's more to it.

So, I casually asked two coursemates of mine in Religion 220 Class - Islam this question.

Their response:

Fatima - Afghan born Canadian
It's the Five Pillars of Islam to fast...and so we do it. Also, we do it to think about Allah (Arabic - God) during this period of time. It's also a time for us to be reflective of what we have, be thankful for it, and to experience what some people suffer in their lives; being hungry.

Azmir - Malay Malaysian
It's the Five Pillars of Islam. Mmm...and it's being abstinent of smoking, drinking, sex, food, water etc. It's not only an outward abstinence, but it's an inward abstinence. (p.s. He gave me an example of the abstinence of the tongue from the Hadith, but I forgot the quote)

Me: I have to say that fasting for only the purpose of experiencing what a Muslim practices, is actually just a motion for me because I lack the meaning of fasting. And so, I think that fasting has to do with fundamentally having niyya (Arabic - intention). A muslim who fasts with the right niyya does it to obey God as part of their act of worship to Him, in thanksgiving, in sharing the suffering with others who lack food. And fasting an entire month from 6am to 6.40pm is not an easy thing to do if you are just going through the motions. And so, for a Muslim to fast sincerely, with all their hearts as devotion to Allah, is I think admirable.

Looking at other religions, many others practices disciplines such as fasting: Buddhist, Hindus, Christians, Mormons etc. I got talking to my friend Jeff today who educated me on the fact that Mormons fasts once a month on the first Sunday (for 24 hours) - for their entire lifetime. That's new to me!

But yeah, if we consider all the religions in the world, though they may differ in many ways, there is one common ground: there is a heart of worship and devotion - to want to know God and to connect with Him.

Sawm

I've been toying with the idea of fasting for a day or two in the spirit of Ramadan Month of the Muslims. So, today I've decided to fast for a day tomorrow - Tuesday. It would be interesting to experience what an adult Muslim does yearly as their act of worship to Allah.

For my Canadian readers who are not familiar with sawm (Arabic) or puasa (Malay), here's Islam 101 for you:

There are five pillars of Islam - The Essential Practices in Islam.

1. Confession of faith - Shahaadah
2. Regular specific prayers - Salah
3. Regular contributing of the specified poor due - Zakah
4. Fasting during the month of Ramadan - Sawm
5. Pilgrimage to Mecca - Hajj

Sawm (fasting) is the fourth pillar in Islam and is expected from every adult. It is performed on the 9th month of the Islamic Calendar.

Here are the guidelines of sawm:

1. Starts from dawn to dusk (In Canada; 6am-6.40pm)
2. Abstinence from eating
3. Abstinence from drinking (water as well as alcohol)
4. Abstinence from smoking
5. Abstinence from sex
6. Can't swallow your own saliva

(Note: Alcohol consumption is debatable depending on which "sect" you are from. Some "sect" prohibits drinking altogether in a Muslim's life)

I think abstinence from food wouldn't be too hard for me since I've fasted before in my own faith for prayer reasons. However, it would be a challenge to fast on water for the entire day...never tried that before. Hmmm, hopefully I'll survive and not pengsan (faint). As for guideline number six, honestly I'm not sure how I'm going to stop swallowing my saliva...ermm, will try that...

I've always admired my Muslim friends back home in Malaysia who would fast for the entire month. There must be a driving force in them to perform such a sacrificial act for an entire month as their act of worship to Allah.

Well, I'm gonna give it a try tomorrow and will tell ya bout my experience!

Blessed Be Your Name

The first thing I heard this morning was this song; "Blessed Be Your Name" when I switched on my radio (oops, actually that's not true, the first thing I heard today was my alarm!) before I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and clean up. And then again, I heard this song in Church at the beginning of the service, and at the end.

Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
- - -
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

As I listen to the lyrics of this song, it just touches my heart. I think it is such a challenge to Bless the Lord in all circumstances, to praise His name with all our heart when we are in adverse situation. But I think when we're facing any situation in life, be it good or bad, there are two ways of expressing it; choosing to praise the Lord, or not to. Of course, when someone is facing a hard time in life, it makes no sense to bless the Lord at that time, but it's that heart attitude - to acknowledge that we're not in control of everything and to then let go of our burdens and choose to trust in the Lord - and bless His Name, that makes a difference. In many ways, I think when we choose to bless the Lord regardless of our situation, He will bless us back abundantly, immeasurably.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Lord, I choose to say, "Blessed be Your Name!"

Shopaholic - NOT

Before I say anything, I have to clarify that I really am not a shopaholic - never was, never will be. If you actually went shopping with me, you'll find out that I'm really picky, and often times being not able to find the things that I want. Once Hui Min and Lydia was shopping with me for 'the shoe,' and they (especially Hui Min) got so frustrated with me that in exasperation they just urged me to buy something, because what I want is seldom available.

Anyway, I got two pairs of boots/shoes yesterday! And I really like them, and they were on sale, like on a lot of discount, so I got both of them.







Which do you like best?

There is a meaning

I survived through this week. This week has indeed been one of the most challenging and stressful week for me. I had three assignments due this week, two of which were very difficult, especially the one for my Finance course. I started all three on Tuesday, save the three questions I did while in Calgary, and it was a horrible feeling to have so much to do, with such limited time. For the first time in this semester, I missed two classes on Tuesday to have the whole day dedicated to Excel problem solving for Mgtsc 352 assignment, and drawing graphs and solving mathematical equations for my Econ assignment. Finance was the hardest of all, and oh, I can't begin to tell you how horribly hard it was. I also realized that for some reason, I have been eating only one meal a day for the week. Very odd, but I think yeah, it's been so stressful that I kind of just forgot to eat. I also had to work a six hour shift at my part time job, which is fewer hours than usually, but it just deducted more time for me. Btw, I managed to resign that job two weeks ago, so this week was my last shift. I'm going to be missing the wonderful perfect yummy cookies, and the once was senseless guy, now ain't so senseless guy. He has really improved so much at the job, that just proves my theory that given time and hands on experience, a guy can be as good as a girl in the kitchen! I digress...anyway, this week has been so topsy turvy that I actually once in my entire life felt that I actually lived a "university student's life" - in such stressful state. I've never been so pressed for time as I have before. Knowing me, I usually try to manage my time in such a way that everything works out pretty fine though the stress is still there. Other factors contributed towards this state that I was in...and I guess life is really quite unpredictable. Tonight is going to be a relaxing night and from tomorrow onwards, I'm going to reorganize my life.

Talking about juggling many balls in life, I saw a young woman slightly older than me today on HUB (on-campus). She was carrying a backpack, looking like a normal student, however, pushing a stroller with a very tiny infant - perhaps less than a year old. And beside the stroller, she was holding a small child's hand. I marvel at how a young woman is able to play so many roles; mother, perhaps wife, student, and perhaps having a part time job as well. Life would be so hard, so complicated, so stressful...but yet,her strong determination to complete University is just admirable.

Inspite of our situation, let's be thankful for what we have, and continue to have a passion to live. There is a meaning in life.

Changed

My deserted blog. It feels like it's been ages since I've really written something. The truth is, I just haven't felt emotionally alright to write anything.

The South Asia Earthquake killed 40,000 people, and have displaced millions. Everytime I read about the earthquake and when the horrid pictures are flashed at me, I feel a sense of sadness flowing through me. It is all so sad. There are no other fancy words to describe how millions are now suffering, and in need and desperation. Pictures of women and children with pained faces fills the media. I wonder, when the ordeal is finally over, how can they live? How can they live with the disaster which enveloped them, which has ruined their lives? I think they must have changed through that season of suffering, while at the same time be thankful that they are still alive.

I've often thought of how a disaster would change a person's life, and how they live after. The tsunami, the 911 terrorist attack, SARS, wars etc.

I feel like I've been to a war zone, to have seen the desperation at people's faces. And it is a challenge to switch off that part of me, and to go back to mundane life. It seems quite impossible, but again perhaps it is possible since humankind have done it. The only thing is...that part will always be with me, and I have since been a changed person.

Clear Blue Sky

As I look out the window
I see a picture of mundane life
Everything is well on the outside
There is a stream of vehicles
moving along,
and the birds are flying
merrily against the clear blue sky.

As I divert my gaze on the inside
The picture I see is of complete difference.
Everything is not well on the inside
There is tremendous chaos
And there is an ugly colour
Of plain light brown and red

And I think,
How is this possible?
I used to come to this city
with a light heart,
often meeting at her office for lunch
And everything was well.
Now, I come to this city
with a sense of sadness
at the thought and sight of how
that malicious disease
is eating her up.

I wish things were fine on the inside,
But I know it won't be so.

It is only when I revert my gaze to the
clear blue sky,
I feel a sense of peace
permeating in me,
Peace...that trandscends all understanding.

Sufficiency in Grace

Don't you sometimes wonder how things got to the way it did? However, even if you did analyze the "whys," it just really doesn't matter.

It feels like the world is caving in on me, and it's quite a terrible feeling. However, I choose to hang onto this promise:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me...For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

It's tough, but I know God's grace is sufficient for me.

I choose to trust You Lord.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Please be that shepherd to her, Lord.
Please reveal Yourself to her, Lord.
Please comfort and be with her as she goes through
this hard time.

Would you please pray with me for her to know
the Lord?

What should I do?

That one call. Don't you just hate it when one phone call makes so much difference?

My Aunt Amanda is in the hospital. She was brought to the Emergency Room, and was then admitted to hospital. I'm not entirely sure what is her condition right now, but it sounds similar to the last time she was in the ER in March. The pain that she has is unbearable, and she has lost her ability to walk again. According to her last MRI, the cancer is spreading at a fast speed now...

O God...please just be with her and relieve her pain.

I don't know what to do, should I head to Calgary early next week? Initially I planned to go on Friday for Thanksgiving (is there going to be a celebration now?)...but her condition seems so serious now. And, I have a midterm on Friday. I really don't know what to do, especially since University is so demanding, but I'm the only family she has here aside from Aunt Saw Yah.

Father,
I just pray that you will be with Aunt Amanda and Saw Yah as they are alone in Calgary. Please bring relieve to Aunt Amanda's pain, and please just be with her. Show both of them your grace and mercy, Lord. Amen

Please pray with me.