Barakah

I learnt a new Arabic word!

Grace in Arabic is barakah.

Barakah in Islam means undeserved blessings from Allah.
Islam then, has a similar meaning to grace as Christianity, though it might differ in context.

Stress Level

I think the people around me are beginning to feel stressed.

I heard the word 'stress' twice today.
First time, early morning in the hallway by a peer.
Second time, professor's tip on the Mgtsc 352 Quiz tomorrow - keep breathing during exam and try not to be too stressed.

I'm beginning to feel it...

Not THAT grass!

Imagine this scenario:

I was with Michelle on the bus to University yesterday and we got chatting about blogs.

Michelle: So, do you have a blog?

Me: Yeah, I do. And you have one too, right?

Michelle: Yeah. So, what do you write on it?

Me: Mmmmm...stuff, and on 'eating grass.'

Michelle: Oh? (*raising eyebrows*)

Me: Yeah, my connotation of grass is green salad, it's on how I found it tasting like grass at the beginning, but I'm beginning to like it.

All of sudden, this guy who was sitting in front of us turned, smiling, made a hand signal of smoking.

Michelle: NONO, she doesn't mean that.

We got off the bus.

Me: What? He thought I was smoking grass?! No way!

Michelle and I just laughed the whole way to Uni.

Alright, I have to admit that when I wrote about the 'grass' piece, it didn't even hit me that people might perceive this 'grass' differently. I do know that it connotes a different meaning, but it really really just didn't occur to me.

If there's one thing I learnt in Canada, it's this equation.

Grass = Pot = Marijuana.

There you go.

Have I ever tried it?

No, never did, never will though I admit I'm very curious about it. It's not hard to acquire pot in Canada and that's the truth. A LOT of Canadians smoke pot just as a side hobby; it's quite natural here. There's a lot of justification of how it is supposedly good for your health (??), keeps you relaxed, and might even increase your productivity at what you're doing; work or studies. There was even this article on The Gateway (University's official newspaper) last year on directions on how to grow pot! Talk about being open!

I actually personally don't know that many people who smoke pot, but just a month ago, I met up with this African friend of mine who said he could get me some if I ever want to try it. Wow, that's very nice of him, eh!

As much as you might try to persuade me, I will not touch it. Why? Pretty simple.

1. Just because I know it tastes horrid
2. It's bad for my health and body
3. Wasting $$
4. Might decrease my productivity
5. Addictive
6. Most importantly, it's against my faith and belief systems ("Your body is the temple of God")

It's quite different from where I come from. Certainly there are what we call 'drug addicts' who easily acquire these 'drugs' from Chow Kit Road. However, in our Malaysian society, marijuana has a connotation of being bad for you. It's associated with all the bad stuff in life. And of course, drug trafficking if caught, brings a capital punishment (death penalty) regardless of nationality.

Here in Canada, we have huge political debates of decriminalizing pot by the Liberal Government, and is even brought further by the New Democratic Party to legalize the sale of marijuana at a certain x-quantity.

Hmmm, such different worlds, eh!

I need stress

Often times we associate stress with bad stress. Yes, there is such a thing as good stress. Good stress keeps you on your toes and motivates you to work harder to achieve a goal.

I finally took my BLaw midterm yesterday on hard copy after spending 45 mins on Friday waiting for the tech team to figure out why we couldn't assess to the midterm online.

On Monday, as I was walking to class, there wasn't a teeny weeny bit of anxiousness in me at all. And really, this midterm is 20% of our final mark. I should feel at least a little tense right? Nope, no such feelings. So anyway, the midterm wasn't too hard neither was it easy. And I hate it when I don't know how I really did. Often times when I score on an exam, it is usually when I feel a mixture of anxiousness and calmness.

So, I think I need a little bit of stress.

But, as I think about it, I haven't heard the word 'stress' from my peers in the last three weeks...

Usually, the normal Canadian response to "How are you?" is always answered by a "Good!"

However, if you truly know the person, the "How are you" question might be answered with a "busy, swarmped or tired" answer (from my peers, that is).

And yeah, right this moment I'm so extremely busy and swarmped, but not stressed out yet. The University life is quite fast-paced; as you finish your readings, there comes more, then assignments, and midterms and quizzes.

Coming to think of it now, maybe stress is on its way...

Try asking me "How are you" next month.

Eating grass

Coming from Asia where we usually cook all our vegetables, it was unusual for me to see Canadians eating salad - lots of it. It's not like we Malaysians don't eat salad at all, but it's at a very small quantity - a side dish. When I first saw some of my female caucasian friends eating salad as a meal, it struck me as very odd.

Odd because firstly, I was unaccustomed to eating green salad the way Canadians do - lots of uncooked vegetables such as lettuce, brocolli, cauliflower, carrots, mushrooms and such. No carb, and very little protein (meat).

Secondly, eating just a green salad for a meal? That seems to me like they're on a diet or something. It doesn't seem like a hearty meal to me.

But as I live here longer, green salad is just part of the Canadian lifestyle, and so I took some of it, but, not as an entire meal.

I was with some friends at Wendy's sometime ago, and she was gushing about how good their Mandarin Chicken Salad is. I smiled politely, but kind of wanted the old-fashioned hamburgers the guys were going to order. But, I thought to myself, I might as well try it out, and maybe I might really like it. Guess what? I really did like it, and funny thing was, I couldn't even finish the entire salad bowl because there were just too much 'grass' in it (and I have to admit I'm a slow eater too).

Now, where did the 'grass' part came from?

As we were sitting down chewing (lots of chewing) on our lunch, she asked me how my salad was. And in my honesty, I told her how I always thought of green salad as how eating grass was like - well, it seemed that way, right? And the guys laughed so hard, and now they can't eat salad without thinking of themselves as cows grazing on grass!

I've recently noticed that I'm beginning to fix myself green salad as a whole meal, more and more often. And, that really surprises me!

Well, at least coming to Canada has a great impact on me in my eating habits - I now enjoy eating grass! That's quite an achievement, eh!

Fall

Fall is finally here. Everywhere is coloured with golden-yellow leaves from top to the bottom.







Fall is my favourite season! It's just so pretty, and it gives you a sense of serenity in it.

Technological Glitch

I'm having my Blaw 301 midterm right now.

Except the fact that I'm not having it right now.

It's an online exam and we're having a technological glitch - we can't access to the midterm.

Sigh...

Don't you just hate online exams?
I do, I would prefer to write a paper based exam any day.

I'm bored...

Are men senseless?

I've recently started working at a specialty cookie shop on a part-time basis. When I just started, I realized that at the two chain stores that I trained and worked at, there wasn't a single male worker. Now, I don't know about other chains, but these two were purely female bred workers. I resulted in asking my manager why they wouldn't hire males. My young manager cheekily smiled at me and said, "They can't handle it." Then she continued, "They can't multitask." I was a little puzzled, but didn't probe.

This was a month ago.

Now, we have a new manager, and she hired two male workers just over a week ago.

Two days ago, I dropped by the store and talked to one of my colleague. She was working with one of the new male workers, and she whispered to me, "These men have no sense at all" (*rolling her eyes*). I laughed hard, and didn't think much about it. Afterall...I thought she was exaggerating.

Today, I had an overlap shift with one of the new male workers. And, I think I agree with my colleague's statement, only that I'll help her rephrase it: "These men have no sense in the kitchen-food-and-beverage industry at all."

I'm sure the guy I work with is very very nice. But, for the two hours that I worked with him, I observed that yeah, he really couldn't multitask. He was mostly standing at the counter doing customer service. That's great, but our responsibility is much wider than that. There are a lot of behind the scenes preparation, cleaning, washing, financial responsibilities that we do. Another girl and I were doing closing, and it was just a horrendous shift because we had to do all of the next day's pre-scoop from ground zero, and so much cleaning to do. Our specialty-very-expensive cookies don't come out of nowhere, we pre-scoop them and bake them. No pre-scoops, no bakers, no cookies to sell.

Anyway, it got me thinking, is this nature vs. nurture?

Are men by nature senseless in the kitchen?

I would like to think that no, they are not naturally senseless in the kitchen. A woman could be senseless in the kitchen too, if she did not have hands-on experience. I have to admit that being the spoilt child that I was, I never helped much in the kitchen back home in Malaysia. It was not until I came here that I had to learn cooking, and realized there's so much preparation and cleaning - not just the cooking process. When I first started a summer job last year in the food and beverage industry, I was senseless too - honestly, I didn't know what to do! I didn't even know how to hold a knife properly! But, I learnt, and in time, improved. So, I believe that these stereotypes of 'men are senseless in the kitchen' are culturally constructed, and a man can in time and experience be equally as good as a woman in the kitchen.

Well, this is my deduction, but perhaps it is true that some men really can't handle the kitchen stuff and multitasking. But, I find that men my generation are becoming more competent than their predecessors in the kitchen. I have quite a few male friends who are more competent than I am in their cooking skills, and I guess I have to give them credit - they have good sense in the kitchen!

Is it fair?

Did you know that Afghanistan's current election commission has promised women 25% of seats in the Parliament? To me, that is a large amount quantified for women. I was first impressed, then I thought to myself, is that fair - in the sense that though other men candidates might acquire more votes than women, the women will be given the seats. It seems kind of 'unfair' in that way.

What is the notion of fairness anyway?

I decided to do a search in Merriam Webster dictionary, and it gave me the following results:

FAIR implies an elimination of one's own feelings, prejudices, and desires so as to achieve a proper balance of conflicting interests (a fair decision).

JUST implies an exact following of a standard of what is right and proper (a just settlement of territorial claims).

EQUITABLE implies a less rigorous standard than JUST and usually suggests equal treatment of all concerned (the equitable distribution of the property).

I then concluded that the issue stated might actually be 'unfair.' But though it is 'unfair' it is actually equitable. Being an Islamic country reigned by Taliban regime for many years, women do not have an equal status compared to men, and they were considered the weaker beings. Culturally, they can't even walk out in the streets alone - they have to be accompanied by a male family member in fully dressed burkha. In addition to that, Prophet Muhammad once said that a country led by women will be "doomed to failure." With such conservative settings, women will never be able to run politically on their own. Let's face it, even in the First World Country of Canada, there are quite few women representatives in the Parliament. There might be many reasons for this: less interest than that of men, less connection with the high and mighty, bias by men voters, financially incapable and many many more. Only really outspoken women leaders like Anne McClellan or super rich Magda owner Belinda Stronach would be able to gain supporters.

Therefore, it certainly is a good move to have 25% women representation in the Afghanistan Parliament as so to give them a starting point. It is only equitable. However, I do think that as a country moves forward in women's rights, and thinking, such a quota is unnecessary lest men claiming that women are infringing on their rights and stepping on their toes.

Just get raped!

Get yourself raped and you'll get yourself a free ticket to Canada.

Such were words from President of Pakistan, Musharraf yesterday in New York. I'm not sure if it were meant to be an attack to the Canadian government or to women in general. Perhaps it was meant to insult the Canadian government due to some unresolved matters between the two or some sort. But, the rationality is that this is not the right way to insult the government, it kinda missed the point. Yes, the Canadian immigration law is compassionate towards citizens of war terrorized countries and citizens whom were not given the human rights deserved; raped women in this case who were not given justice. But, I think it's a strength of the Canadian immigration policy in this case, and not a weakness itself. Not only did Musharraf missed the point, but his comment was an insult to the world's women population. It is very disturbing to think that a leader in that part of the world still has not gotten the notion of women's rights, and of the equality which should be granted to its citizens not based on the merit of gender. I know women's rights and equality comes with time, education, realization and fighting through women's movement, but I wish it would have some progressive result. We, women are not decorative sexual things.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/09/16/Pakistan_rape20060916.html

Sexuality

Sexuality and Homosexuality.

Okay, you know how we've always discussed about homosexuality, read about it, gossipped about some people whom we think are (ok, I hear the gossips, I don't initiate them) and try to make out why people are homosexual? I finally met a person who openly, unashamely admits that she is a lesbian. And what was my reaction? Well, I didn't have one. I didn't flinch, or had a heart attack due to the shock. It just seemed like I was having one of the most natural conversations you could have. Afterall, she is a normal feminist person (like me) but so happens her sexual preference is of the same sex.

If you knew me two years ago, I would have screamed! But well, since coming to the land of cold Canada, I've become quite desensitized on the homosexuality issue. There has been so much debate on the same sex marriage issue in Canada in the last two years that yeah, you just get used to the idea that it does exist, and the numbers are on the increase. Canada is the third country in the world to enact the same sex marriage law - this summer, after much drama unfolded in the political scene. The House of Commons nearly came tumbling down this summer on this issue when it was to be voted as a 'confidence matter' in which if this bill failed, the Parliament will most probably dissolve and elections called. But no, sadly, this bill won by a 158-133 margin in the House of Commons, and went through easily in the Senate. I was quite saddened by the news, because a marriage is now not defined as one between a man and a woman, but of any sex. There's a lot of implications in this matter I feel; legally, socially, and in religion. As soon as the first men-couple got married in one of the provinces(when it became legal in that province, before it became the national law), they wanted to get a divorce soon after. But guess what, there's no law to divorce same sex couples yet...so it was quite a complication! Then there's all these protests by religious groups, angry at how it is an attack against their rights in the definition of marriage. At the end, everyone is fighting for their 'rights.' Sighs...

I guess after all this chaos revolving around this issue, I have become more tolerant of the idea of homosexuals. I say tolerant and not accepting. Because of my personal beliefs, I cannot agree with homosexual acts.

I used to think it in a nature vs nurture dichotomy with nurture being its cause. But as I gain more knowledge in this matter, although there is yet substantial evidence in science stating that it is due to the DNA, who am I to say that it is not possible? It could be, I don't know. So, I tend to think now that it might be many factors at play; upbringing, society, family, decision, and perhaps genetics.

Afterall, homosexuality is not something new. The Bible mentioned that early on in the Old Testament in Sodom and Gomorrah. This is about 2100BC. In Genesis Chapter 19, it writes that two angels arrived at Sodom and the men there wanted to have sex with these two angels. No candy for those guessing where the word sodomise originated from.

But the breakthrough for me that it might be partly genetic is in Romans 1:18-32.

Romans 1:24
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

When I read that, I could hardly believe it. But again, anything is possible since there are many things in life which is a temptation. Homosexuality and homosexual relations can itself be a temptation in life.

Therefore, there is no need to condemn a homosexual person, I feel. Everyone faces temptation, and sins. I've always maintained a mentality of loving the person and at the same time gently-and-boldly standing up for what we believe that yes, homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of God. Of course, that is if we actually have a relatively close friendship with a person of that orientation.

As for the girl whom I just met who has been living with her partner for seven years, I hope she will experience God's grace. I pray so.

Bread and Wine

The bread and wine taken during Holy Communion fundamentally symbolizes Jesus's body broken for us (bread) and His blood poured out for us (wine). We partake the holy communion to commemorate and to reflect in thanksgiving to our Lord Jesus who died on the cross so we might have life to its abundance - here, now, and eternally.

Yes, it means that, but today during Church, the pastor's words enlightened me. As believers, sometimes we too, might be broken to serve others. In the same way, we pour out our lives and love to others - that they too may experience God's grace.

Uni life

It's back to the busyness of Uni life.

Classes resumed today after a four-month spring and summer break. It felt kind of surreal being back in Uni for classes after such a long break. Seeing so many people in every building scrambling to get to class on time can be quite overwhelming. But, I'm sure the stampede will go away in a little while when the newness of semester fades away when lots more people drink and have hangovers...that's when they won't be coming to class so often, and jamming the hallways.

Sigh, it's the first day of classes and I feel awfully tired already.

I think I have to get my brains started soon, otherwise I'm going to be stuck in a dazed mood for a little bit, which is really bad.

I'm taking five courses this sem:

BLaw 301 (Business Law)
Econ 282 (Macroeconomics)
Fin 412 (Finance)
Mgtsc 352 (Management Science a.k.a. Statistics)
Rel 220 (Religion-Islam)

I had three classes today; law, econ and religion. I really did like the three classes today although it's the first day of class and they overwhelm you with all the datelines for midterms, papers, presentations, final exam. I'm hoping I still remember how to study...or how to write an exam.

Well, aside from academics, I have been really busy with Navs. The Clubs Fair is on for the whole week and I've been pretty much helping out everyday. This year, the response is sooooooo good, thanks to our new 'marketing strategy': Win an Ipodmini!!

Navs booth 


Nono, we're a Christian on campus club, and we we're not 'cheating' anyone at all!!!(hmmmp, unlike marketers...) We simply have this "win an ipodmini" draw by filling in a survey form. In the first two days, we had about a thousand respondents, and were really quite overwhelmed!! About a fifth indicated interest in participating in an interactive discussion group or meet for coffee with a Christian student/staff. Of course, the probability of those coming out will be a smaller number, but nevertheless, it's been a great way to promote our club and in getting email contacts. We're having a girls breakfast thingy this Saturday - please pray for us! We hope to do what we stand for: To know Christ and to make Him known!

You can check out the UOA Navs at www.ualberta.ca/~navigatr/

A cute guy!

okay girls, listen up

there's someone I want you to meet

he's really cute

he's gorgeous

he has blue eyes

and a great megawatt smile that will make you melt

and there's this long line of girls who wants him

because he's such a heartthrob

and those who see him will instantly fall in love with him


Meet lil eli


lil eli 

ain't he cute????

don't you just want to hold and touch him?

but he weighs like a sack of potato

and quite a workout...forget about gym

and he makes really interesting noises

and wants to be rocked and cradled all the time

and he cry lots, but he's awfully cute!


Eli and I! 

Oh, and he's my friend, Scott and Olga's first child.
Seeing them being parents for the first time just amazes me
They seem to be beaming with unspeakable joy!

I'm old-er

I'm older today, yet it feels the same.
Feels like a normal day, hmmm...
Nope, no celebration of any sort,
But went to a friend's house for dinner,
and watched 'How to lose a guy in 10 days' (hey, it's awesome!!!)
and played games.
My dear friend baked me a cake, and it was yummy.

Just want to thank all my friends for the snail mail cards, e-cards and wishes.

My good friend Chou Chow (yeah, he looks like a dog too!) from NZ texted me this:

"In all that you do,
Smile always
And bring joy to everyone you meet
As you have mine"

He's sweet!

Transitions

Transitions, transitions.

The International Centre's Transitions Orientation ended yesterday. This is my second time volunteering, and it's just awesome meeting people from all over the world.

I remember my first day of attending Transitions Orientation two years ago as a freshman. It was attended by around 500 undergrad and grad international students in a big great white tent in quad. In three days, they taught us the cultural differences we should be expecting to encounter, as not to be tooo culturally shocked by Canadians, academic tips, immigration laws, and the change to an extreme weather in Winter. Yeah, it's awfully cold here, and we had this fashion show on how to dress in all four seasons.

Everything was themed with being a 'transition.'

I was helping two Hong Kong guys settle their campus ID two days ago, and they asked me a classic question.

Them: So, when did you stop 'transition-ing' ar?

Me: Ermmm...wow, actually I think I still am 'transition-ing.' It's not like I have adapted 100% to the lifestyle here and am comfortably immersed here. I think it's a lifelong process...

Yeah, come to think about it, I think I am still adapting. I don't feel Canadian at all, as my roots as a Chinese Malaysian is deeply ingrained in me, hence I have different values and beliefs etc. But of course, it's a post modern world where tolerance is at work. However, it's still a very different way of life (though I do love it) but it's just...different.

Anyway, this is a pic of me and Vishi. Funny as it sounds, I met him at Transitions in my first year, and we kind of lost touch a little, but came back to volunteer at Transitions this year. It seems like deja vu when we were taking this picture right in front of Old Arts Building as we did two years ago!


Vishi and I 

Wedding Bells

In the car on the way to Church.

Christiane: I'm so not ready to get married today. I'm having an anxiety attack right now!

Me: What? Bewildered look on my face.

Christiane: Yeah, can you imagine getting married today?

Me: Ermmm, no...but it's not your wedding today, dear!

I attended my friend, Kathryn's wedding today. Yeah, honestly Christiane is right, I cannot imagine getting married today. It's not the time nor season, and I feel way too young. I wonder how people get married so early (Kathryn is 24)? But then again, everyone's story is different, and her wedding told us a happy ending to her story.


Walking down the aisle 

The wedding ceremony was simple, but yet beautiful. Everyone cried buckets, and it was really very touching. Those who know them will know their story, of the dramatic twist of a serious breaking up a year ago, but yet now, they are getting married. Indeed, they are meant to be together. It's a beautiful ceremony reminding us of the sacred meaning to marriage, of what it means to hold and to cherish for life...


Kathryn and I 


Reception 

I am back

I haven't written for quite some time, blame it on the busyness during this spring/summer holidays. But, I am back.

Spring/Summer holidays are ending. My classes start next Wednesday though I will be back in Uni on Monday helping out with Navs booth for WOW Week of Welcome for freshmans. As I look back the last few months, it has flown by really quickly. Last semester didn't end great, with my aunt's diagnosis of being terminally ill with cancer, and me rushing to Calgary etc. But, we survived the ordeal, praise God she still has a year to live, according to the doctors. Please pray with me that she will come to know the Lord, and experience God's grace.

I went back to Malaysia for two months after being in Calgary for a while. It was good, really good to be back. However, the flight back was just so long - 36 hours. Man! And when I arrived at KLIA, wow, it was EXTREMELY HOT! So hot! Then I realized, wow, I have to get adapted to the weather, again. Being back home was weird, for a bit. It almost seemed like I have missed a huge chunk of my life being away from my family and friends, that living again in Malaysia, and being in their lives again, seem so foreign. But, after some time of adjusting, I felt completely at home again...and it felt really good to be home. And I just did so much mamak-ing that it was a wonder why I didn't gain weight, but lost some! Oh, I just love those late nights at mamak with friends eating rotis and drinking milo ais!

Well, the two months back home were I think, too productive! I did too many things, met up with too many people, and had full schedule all day. It was hard getting an appointment with me, ha! Nono, not bragging about my popularity...I'm not! But my highlight during my trip home was my Missions Trip at the Orang Asli Settlement in Melaka. My heart has always been burdened for the Orang Asli, and I just thank God for the opportunity He gave me to lead the team there. It was just such a good time learning about the ministry there, and being there to serve the people. The thing which amazes me, and always will, is the pastor we were working with, Pastor Joseph. His life is just amazing, and his passion for God's work is just admirable. There are so much challenges in such a ministry, especially with the evil spirits, harassment, financial etc, but there's just this simple faith and a posture of humility I see in his life, his wife Kak Lisah, and his family. It touches my heart so. The second thing which I will treasure in this trip was the rain incident! Yeah, you heard me right. Malaysia, wow, just rains a lot! So anyway, on Sunday, after the morning service, we were scheduled to go to another kampung to do visitation. This kampung was situated an hour away from where we were, with well...no roads, more like a small path which is really hilly. And so just right before we were going to leave, it started raining. Mild rain. No big deal we thought. God can handle it, and stop it soon. So we waited a bit, hmm, it was still raining. We couldn't possibly embark on this trip if it continued raining because it would be too dangerous. So we did the only productive thing we knew how to do: pray. We prayed, and I told myself, well, for sure God is going to stop the rain, soon. After fifteen minutes, it still didn't stop. But I knew in my heart that God can and will stop the rain. But as we prayed on, it continued raining with such intensity that it didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon. A sister shared with us what the Lord has impressed upon her heart, that God was challenging us and asking us if we were doubtful of what He can do. That struck me a little, thinking, well, was I doubtful? Perhaps just a little bit? I also thought, well, I know for sure God can stop the rain, but would He? I think from then on, there was a change in my heart. It is one thing knowing that God can stop the rain, and another if He will. It is also a realization that there is nothing I can do to stop the rain, but it is absolutely up to God. I pleaded, prayed, and cried out to the Lord to stop the rain with a desperation in my heart. We continued praying and singing songs, until the rain stopped about 40 minutes later. After that, not a drop at all. God has blessed and shown us His grace, and it was just so good to experience that afresh in this prayer exercise.

Anyway, there's too much to tell of the missions trip, so if you're interested, ask me for the pictures, I have tons! It's really pretty pictures too, being wallpapered by God's beautiful nature all the way!

So, I left Msia after two months of being back, and the ride to KLIA was quite saddening...I felt so heavy burdened going back to Canada, living alone, and facing the stressful health condition of my aunt. It was not just that, the last two months felt just so right, so at home, that it was hard leaving all these again, for the second time.

As the plane ascended, I felt heartbroken, and as though a piece of my heart has remained in Malaysia. I guess a part of my heart will always be in Malaysia, tanah airku yang tercinta...