I'm craving...

CHIPS! Big time. I've been eating two bags a week for the last two weeks. This has got to stop! And, so I did. I mustered every ounce of will to say no. Went grocery shopping today and just had to constantly remind myself that I AM NOT GETTING THAT BAG OF CHIPS.

I AM NOT GETTING THAT BAG OF CHIPS.

Don't you just love the CRA?

The Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA). In the last couple of years, I was fortunate enough to have had limited dealings with them. However, everyone talks about CRA like they are a despisable leech. I had a Law Professor who would lecture and complain about CRA and the taxation system in Canada at least 10 minutes of every lecture. And mind you, every lecture was only 50 minutes 3 times a week. Yes, what were we doing paying him to complain about the tax system...that I have no idea. But some of his points are well taken, and there may be some justification for them. I will not talk about the tax system this time, but in the last two months, I have been dealing with the CRA a lot. It is a lot considering I have been here for four years with limited dealings with them. Then, young small poor me dealing with the CRA A LOT in the last two months.

Let's see. First, I was randomly picked out of 35 million people living in Canada for a tax review. Yes, me, a tax review for last year when I was still a student and earning close to a zero income. I had to submit a couple of documents and that was not all that bad.

With my Company, like I mentioned, I am somehow the "accountant" and have to deal with the government in two ways: Payroll taxes (Employment Insurance -- EI, Canada Pension Plan -- CPP, and employee income taxes) and with GST (Government Services Taxes). Somehow, I inherited some problems with the RP (payroll) with the CRA and had to call CRA to clarify them. Now, you would think that a government agency would have a phone line that works -- but many a times that I tried, it would just disconnect or indicated the line was busy!!! After trying a gazillion time on "redial" I was connected. Then, I realized that only the "Director"/Owner of the Company were allowed to access information as such, and had to get my boss to authorize me. So my boss called them a gazillion times before they picked up the phone. They gave us the wrong information, and we filled in a wrong form, which resulted me in calling in to CRA thinking that I was now authorized. Nope, wrong information. My boss called again, and this time the right procedure took place -- thankfully some officers were competent at their job. So, then I called CRA up to clear the problem, of which they promised to take care of it...and of which I am still waiting now after two months.

Then, last Friday my boss notified me that we were picked for a "review." Yes, small lil Company being reviewed (sounds familiar: poor lil me being reviewed too!) So I prepared all the documents, and spent half a day with quite a pleasant lady from CRA. She was very nice although very businesslike -- government servants are and have to act that way I suppose. In the end, she figured that we had a credit (we overpaid) our RP (payroll taxes) by a couple of hundreds...which of course is a good thing for us!

So, that was my experience with the CRA in the last two months. I am reminded of my Law Professor's broken record of complaints on the CRA. Really, does the agency have so many agents to go out and "randomly" review poor students and newly startup small businesses? If they do, I would prefer them to hire a couple more officers to pick up the phone to help me with my questions. And of course, it will be really nice if they could hire more agents to think of strategies to make tax loopholes no longer loopholes. I am not kidding, because in the very same Law Class, my Law Professor taught us legal means of not paying required taxes (he says not to call it tax evasion because they are legal means). While reviews are important, I think time should be spent chasing after the real crooks screwing government money.

Autumn in all its beauty

Beautiful Fall

What is life, if it is all a lie?

I find it unbelievable. Shocking. Unfathomable. How is it possible that some people are incapable of forgiving, incapable of compromising, incapable of saying "sorry" and admitting that one cannot be "right" all the time. Humans make mistakes. It is true, we are not perfect people, and we often make mistakes. I think the most humbling thing a person can do is to admit that he is in the wrong, and to simply say "sorry." It really is not all that hard. I find that all easier to do than to be dishonest to one self. How can one live with such dishonesty within? Does it not eat a person alive? For what is life, if it is all a lie?

Fellowship in the Gospel --

Just wana share with you an excerpt from Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" which spoke to me this week:

"Fellow labourers in the gospel of Christ." 1 Thessalonians 3:2

After sanctification it is difficult to state what your aim in life is, because God has taken you up into His purpose by the Holy Spirit; He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself -- Gos has called me for this and that; you are putting a barrier to God's use of you. As long as you have a personal interest in your own character, or any set ambition, you cannot get through into identification with God's interests. You can only get there by losing forever any idea of yourself and by letting God take you right out into His purpose for the world, and because your goings are of the Lord, you can never understand your ways.

I have to learn that the aim in life is God's, not mine. God is using me from His great personal standpoint, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him, and never say -- Lord, this gives me such a heartache. To talk in that way makes me a clog. When I stop telling God what I want, He can catch me up for what He wants without let or hindrance. He can crumple me up or exalt me, He can do anything He chooses. He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Himelf and in His goodness.

An International Development dude

I left nearing 7pm today from office. Don't get me wrong, I usually don't leave quite that late but today was just a busy day and I couldn't get much done with all the meetings that I had. I was waiting at the bus stop for quite a bit before a dude appeared and sat beside me on the bench waiting for bus #6.

I was oblivious of him really. My mind was flying towards what I would be doing in my next five waking hours. Then, out of the blue, he asked, "Who are you voting for?" I was taken aback, given the question that was asked in a very non-political-conscious community. Don't get me wrong, I know young people who are interested in politics, but when talking about municipal politics, very few pay attention, if they know what is happening at all. As shocked as I was, I answered that I couldn't vote. Our conversation floated from politics to many others. I found out that he is an international development student in Ontario and is currently working with a local magazine writing on world issues. It is quite refreshing meeting someone who speaks the same lingo as I do, who cares as much about the world, who wants to make a difference but yet still so young and so simply human.

Just as he asked where I was heading, I almost forgot that the next stop is mine (to the grocery). As I said that, I sensed a disappointed expression swept over his face. At that moment, I wondered again about the possibility of meeting a random friend, or a random potential "guy" in such situations. See, I've always been in the "Joshua Harris's" camp of "no dating" but "courting" when attempting a romantic relationship. See, what I realized since I have graduated from University is that you don't quite meet as many guys in the workforce as you would when you were in University. So, if you don't get to meet people, how do you ever meet anyone at all that you would be interested in, interested in such a manner to "court" them. So, this has really make me rethink my past ideal thoughts on dating. What do you think? Is it possible to meet people as randomly as on the bus, and to somehow be open minded enough to embrace possibilities like that?

I think I am beginning to become more "open minded" that way -- to think of meeting a guy outside the box, outside the conventional ideal setting, because our world has changed so much.

I don't forsee meeting the international development dude again, unless he runs for politics someday. I kinda told him that before I left the bus -- perhaps I'll see you in the news when you run :) We will see. But my dear readers, don't hold your breath for too long...

The Jos in my life...

I have two Jo acquaintances in my life right now. One is a big supplier with my Company, which constantly calls me up for $$$ (I'm the Finance Department in my Company). The other is my apartment manager, who left me a note in the apartment today saying she can't find my cheque for rent this month. Okay, so I am two days late with rent, which of course does not justify being late for the matter. After the "warning" note, I finally sat down at 11pm after coming back for a bit to write two cheques, one for my rent, and the other for my simply absent roomate Pam. It is funny how life gets so busy, you have this big great to-do-list and is just trying to stroke things off the list on a daily basis. I can be an organized person, and prioritizing with a list is definitely productive...but should life be simply marking off the things we have to do in life to survive, like buying groceries, doing laundry, writing cheques, sending MAC rebates, renewing my Canadian visa, write/call friends/family, think of investments, etc etc. The list gets longer as we "need" more things to live. It is unfortunate when life is a bunch of things we need to mark off a list. It should not be so. Life should be lived with enjoyment, fulfillment and happiness. Life should be fluid. But, living in the society that we do, fluidity would be a difficult task to accomplish. I hope someday (very soon) I will be able to live a balanced lifestyle, with some flexibility yet still able to mark off my checklist to do the necessary things to live in a very capitalistic, money-based, busy and time-scarced society.

Think it is possible? Wise thoughts?

Fall is almost over.

Fall is my favourite season! Since my first encounter with the marvelous beauty of autumn four years ago, it has taken a special place in my heart. I find it just so pretty -- the golden yellow leaves embracing the very path I walk on daily. Sadly, fall is almost gone this year and I have yet to go out armed with a camera to frame its colours. Perhaps nature would be kind enough to delay a lil so I can try to go out this long weekend to just walk quietly by River Valley and take a few shots.

Life has been busy and to my amazement, October is here. I celebrated my birthday in September, so I am supposedly older and wiser now. It is true that the last couple of months has been quite a transition period for me; graduated from University and working. Adulthood also comes with more responsibilities, and many questions of the future is starting to pop up now. Deciding how to spend my waking hours apart from work also has taken an important part in my life, for time is scarce. It is only fair to say that God, ultimately is the reason I wake up daily -- He is the source of life for me. That, is evident in my life, but the question really is about the small lil details of how to spend my time and life. I have yet to find tangible answers, but I know my passion is in wanting to help humanity, in whatever way that may seem. I hope my dad is not reading my blog since it has been emptied for quite a bit, but I am kinda thinking of going to Africa after my work contract ends, if I choose not to renew it. Why Africa? I have no idea, but God has put a burden into my heart for Africa recenty (maybe since Jan 2007) and I have a couple of contact there now. I dunno, maybe I just feel like I want to spend time with those who are really in need, and not just crunching numbers for a living (though the job is pretty fulfilling too, but the gap to those I am trying to help is kinda big). But that is just a small thought, for all I know, I might continue being in a social enterprise, start one, work in a corporation, work in an NGO, do volunteer work etc. I have absolutely no idea but I am open to opportunities in life to learn, and serve people. Or I might go back home. Home -- hmm.

Anyways, I am not sure how I ended up blabbing about Fall etc., because when I thought of blogging today, I wanted to put something specific on. And that something specific triggered yesterday when I was reading this book "Me to We" by Kielburger. In the book, the author asked the reader to guess which country is the "happiest" in the whole wide world. Coincidentally, I actually knew the answer because I took a course last Winter where I heard about the research findings.

The winner? Nigeria. Researchers found that Nigeria has the highest percentage of self-identified happy people, followed by Mexico, Venezuela, and El Salvador. United States comes in number sixteen.

That, is some food for thought. Another question which begs to be asked, is 'What is happiness?'