Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Sighsss...

I slept at 9.45pm and was awakened by my phone's beeping at 10.45pm: an sms. My cousin notified me that they didn't take the flight back home. I was like, "What?" Apparently, there has been a miscommunication with the funeral home, a BIG MISCOMMUNICATION I would say, and my Aunt Amanda's flight wasn't booked by the funeral director. And they didn't even bother to tell my family that, and so my family thought it was all settled. I think it is really negligent on their part, sighs. My Aunts and cousin didn't take tonight's booked flight as they want to be on the same flight with my Aunt Amanda's body. It's a very emotionally distressing time for my family - especially so after 2 weeks of being in a state of mourning and yet still unable to bring the body back for burial. I don't know what to do...the situation sounds so complicated and my Aunt Saw Yah is thinking of taking legal actions on the funeral homes for being negligent and my other aunt fainted today. Sighs. I just hope that things will be sorted out and all of them will fly home soon - and have the burial perhaps next week since my nephew is getting married this Saturday. So complicated. Please pray with me for my two aunts and cousin in Calgary who's facing tremendous emotional stress.

I'm sleepy

It's only 9.10pm, but I'm feeling so sleepy after doing some African War History readings - which are intersting, but I'm just tired. My midterm went pretty well today, thank God. It possibly was one where I was most ill prepared for, considering the limited time I spent studying.

Sighs...

Today marks the second week since my Aunt Amanda has passed away. Finally, the Malaysian Consulate in Vancouver has approved the paperwork to fly her back to Malaysia for internment this morning. Her body will be flown back to Malaysia tonight, on the same flight as three of my family members who are in Canada.

I guess life goes on...

Monday, February 27, 2006

After two weeks...

Going back to mundane University life after two weeks of well, a depressing time ain't fun at all.

I have a Midterm Exam tomorrow, sighs...think I'm gona fail, *sobs*. Pray for my exam tomorrow, please...need it!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Ain't life weird?

Sometimes
Some things are just not meant to be
Even if you wish it were
Such is life...

Rationality is one thing
But the matter of the heart is another
Is it possible to consolidate the two?
Time is that which heals...

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Goodbye Amanda bo

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You will always be in my heart
Your life will always guide me
To fight on for that 'something better'
I will try to walk in your footsteps
To live with strength, zeal and determination
And to live life to the full

Goodbye Amanda bo

I want to thank God

I am back in Edmonton after spending two weeks in Calgary. It has been one of the darkest moments in my life; arriving at the hospice to see my Aunt Amanda and seeing her condition deteriorate and dying in the next two and a half days. Days just passed by with a lot of arrangements to be done for the Funeral Service and arrangements with the Funeral Homes to bring her body back to Malaysia for internment. There were a lot of tears and sadness shared with my other three family members who were in Canada for my Aunt Amanda.

But in spite of the pain and somber mood that I am still in, I want to thank God.

I want to thank God for guiding me to make the right decision to go to Calgary
I want to thank God for letting me say my final farewell to my Aunt Amanda
I want to thank God for letting me be a part of her last few moments
I want to thank God for giving me an opportunity to say a prayer for my Aunt before she passed away
I want to thank God for the dream of a beautiful place with pretty flowers He gave to my Aunt before she passed away
I want to thank God that I was there by her side when she drew her final breath
I want to thank God for the peaceful manner my Aunt passed away
I want to thank God for letting me be a comfort to my family
I want to thank God for giving me the opportunity to be there supporting my family and planning the Funeral Service
I want to thank God for friends who supported and comforted me during this time

Most importantly, I want to thank God for being by my side.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

In You Lord

Sometimes I don't get life
Sometimes I don't get death

One where we usher someone into this life
One where we usher someone out of this life

A baby girl has been born
An Aunt passed away

Life can seem so confusing at times.
A moment can be filled with happiness and another with intense sadness.

So much uncertainty in life.

But Lord, in You I put my trust.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

When?

There's Been A Death In The Opposite House by Emily Dickinson.

There's been a death in the opposite house
As lately as to-day.
I know it by the numb look
Such houses have always.

The neighbors rustle in and out,
The doctor drives away.
A window opens like a pod,
Abrupt, mechanically;

Somebody flings a mattress out,--
The children hurry by;
They wonder if It died on that,--
I used to when a boy.

The minister goes stiffly in
As if the house were his,
And he owned all the mourners now,
And little boys besides;

And then the milliner, and the man
Of the appalling trade,
To take the measure of the house.
There'll be that dark parade

Of tassels and of coaches soon;
It's easy as a sign,--
The intuition of the news
In just a country town.

There's been a death in the family since Tuesday. Will everything ever be the same again? Will I ever feel the same again? When will the sadness seep away? Will it ever?

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I've decided.

Had a busy week in school and was trying to recover from the cold and all, but last week I decided to make time to attend a few lectures sponsored by the International Week. I-Week this year was a tremendous success, from the keynote speech by Lewis, a Canadian working with the UN on Human Rights Issues to the 50 over lectures they sponsored ending with a concert titled Igniting the Human Spirit. No, I didn't volunteer for the event, but I made time attending six of the lectures, all of which have put me in a deep reflection mode in the last few days, thinking about the severe condition humanity is in today especially in underdeveloped and developing countries.

One of the lectures which stood out to me and I think, have made a difference in how I want to live my life in the future was entitled 'Social Entrepreneurship.' To be honest, this is a new concept to me, and it is fairly new in the business world as well. But think along the lines of 'social justice,' and 'corporate social responsibility' and then think 'social entrepreneurship.' Because this is such a new concept even in North America, there is no exact definition yet. But the CCSE (Canadian Centre for Social Entrepreneurship) coined it as such:

Social Entrepreneurs aim to work for the collective, social good while still attempting to make a profit.

And, experts such as Gregory Dees' have outlined the Five Characteristics of Social Entrepreneurs:

1. Adopting a mission to create and sustain social value
2. Recognizing and relentlessly pursuing new opportunities to serve that mission
3. Engaging in a process of continuous innovation, adaptation and learning
4. Acting boldly without being limited by resources currently in hand
5. Exhibiting a heightened sense of accountability to the constituencies served and to the outcomes created


After attending the lecture and reading up on it, my own understanding of a social entrepreneur is as such:

A social entrepreneur is guided by a mission in life, and that is to enhance the livelihood of humanity in the world. And by holding this mission, she would use her skills and resources in ways that would attain the larger goal. There is no clear cut definition of what she would do, however, this passion in wanting social justice for people would permeate into helping the community through creating employment, goods or services that would benefit in the development of the community.

I'm a 4-day old believer in social entrepreneurship, so forgive me for the loose coining of the term. However, I have always felt called to serve people especially in the underdeveloped and developing countries who are living lives without the necessary means to survival; food, water, shelter and clothing. The world is moving so fast in development that we have left others behind, especially so with the borderless world that we are in today. Globalization comes with a heavy price tag of moving in the direction of free trade and efficiency, and in such, turning a blind eye to countries who have not made it, who does not have the means to catch up. Countries like Africa is in such a large complex economic and political dilemma that even UN can't solve those problems. However, there is a need for developed countries to realize that humans are all the same - we are of the same race - all equal - all equally human. So, we need to bend down to the level of others and offer a hand to guide them up to their feet. And well, being in a Commerce program had pointed me in the direction of profit profit profit for the company, shareholders that it has made me think so much that, "Is this really the field for me?" And I think this idea of Social Entrepreneurship has really helped me consolidate my interest in the business world with helping the world. I am so moved by the whole concept and this whole weeks' lectures that I feel that I want to do something to help humanity, and I think I will. The only question that remains is to figure out how to.

ps. click on the title to the link to CCSE

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

International Week

This year's theme:

more than words: REALIZING HUMAN RIGHTS
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