Time to give up?

I've been known to be a person who is driven and relentless. I almost never give up on something that I set my mind on. But are there some things where, there is a right time to give up? When is the right time to give up? Do you use your logic, or emotion? Or perhaps, both?

In searching oneself deeper to find answers to these questions, perhaps a more important question begs to be answered: what is the purpose? If the purpose has deviated from its original core in the situation, perhaps it is time to give up. Do we give allowances for things that do not go perfectly as we want? Now, that is another harder question to answer. How much does one compromise and wait?

I do not have answers to these questions. I am searching, and searching. And wishing that things were so uncomplicated. Does simplicity exist anymore?

Too many questions, too few answers.

Take a moment to breathe. Look into the clouds. To the moon and stars. To meditate on the bigger picture. To come to a place of serenity, and peace. And there, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

I do not know the answers, but I will trust in my God who will guide me. Amen.

The vow.

Being in your mid-twenties can be a time when you don't get to go camping or enjoy your summer weekends because you are at a wedding. Try this, I attended 7 weddings last year (I was invited to more, but could not make it) and 2 this year. Going to a large amount of weddings can be challenging especially when you are single. I try to have the best attitude I can when going for weddings, because I don't want to dread going to weddings but be there because I love my friends and are truly happy for them. Every wedding I go to, I am touched, and am so happy for my friends because they found the right person whom they will spend the rest of their lives with. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending Gord & Yiyan's wedding ceremony then reception. Theirs was an exceptional story because they are in their thirties, late thirties for Gord and God brought them together through a mutual friend. The chapel was beautifully decorated, and the bride glided in the aisle with radiance. Her dress was beautiful with a long train, and the music was perfect. I was there yet, taking all of that in. Then the usual happened, the minister was asking them the "I do" question. Next, you would think they would be exchanging rings. But no, the bride and groom started their own vows, which probably took 15 minutes in total. I was most touched by the bride's vow, because it was so real and honest. Being in her early thirties, she is one independent and strong lady, and could have gone on life being happy that way. However, she chooses Gord, because of his great qualities, and because love was worth it. Love isn't easy, it is actionable, and takes a great deal of forgiveness, she said he teaches her to forgive. Wow. That was profound, and was the most meaningful wedding I have ever been to. Thank you to my dear friends, for teaching me what love is, and I will pray for God to shower blessings upon your marriage.

Sunshine, Clouds & Rainbows

I am in search of sunshine, clouds & rainbows.

This year's summer is very much rainy and cloudy. We have had very few sunny days, so when the sun stands prominently in its glorious ways, those are very special moments! This weekend hasn't been too bad, it has been warm enough to make me smile. I find life the same way sometimes, there are very many cloudy and rainy days, and there is a waiting period for sunshine & rainbows. And when it happens, it is plain glorious. It is a moment where nothing matters; just standing before God and enjoying His beautiful creation. And that moment is so etched in our memory that when you close your eyes, you are reminded of the warmth of the sun, the beautiful rainbow and God's presence.

I long for more sunshiny and rainbow filled days, be it in the tangible or intangible. God, would you fill my days with an overwhelming sense of your presence.

A reflection on 2008

It has been rather long since my last blog entry. Life has it such that blogging was not a priority, and subsequently becomes something I forget exists.

2008 if I could coin it in any terms that will do it justice would be "total surrender." The Lord has tested me in every area that is conceivable. But, I still stand firm and believe that He is God. I think when one goes through testings in life, the response could be in still believing, or leaving God. If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't change a thing. I learnt SO much through 2008, and it has made me stronger, though I still feel weak. He carried me through, and I believe that He will carry me through 2009. I do hope for a better 2009, one full of challenges, joys, laughter and good things. But, is it for us to determine how life is? We could plan, and try our best to steer life...but God is still totally in charge. And for me, having given God keys to every area of my life, God is steering my life.

I will try blog more often so you know what is going through in my life (although I will have to say that many issues faced in 2008 has a private and confidential element to it which unable me to share freely -- especially not on the internet).

But, let us not lose faith. Not lose faith in God. In life. In the good things in life. In people. In the goodness of heart. In love. In hope.

"And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him" (Hebrews 11:6)

Here's wishing you a 2009 filled with love, faith, relationships and strength.

Trio.

I saw a rat in the longkang by Murni. Then, I heard a "mew." A little later on, I spotted a croackroach below Lina's chair. Yikes!

24 white kittens!

You will not guess what I dreamt of last night. During the dark of night in an unconscious state, I dreamt of receiving 24 birthday presents from a person. When I excitedly opened the pretty bags, there were 24 cute white kittens!

I'm not freaking out or anything...but if you are planning to get me a birthday present, you have lots of time to think about it. Please please please do not get me 24 white kittens! There is no space or time at this moment. I would however love a dog someday...when I have a house. Hint Hint :)

Being on time.

Here I am, waiting for my friends to show up to go to a mamak session. I have only been back in Malaysia for 2 1/2 weeks, but yet, I am fooled everytime! Fooled as in, I would be at a place, or be waiting for a friend/s to show up at the specific time we had agreed upon. Unfortunately, none of my friends have managed to show up at the agreed time...none at all! Let's see...CT and Fel were 1 1/2 hours late, and that was by far the longest wait I'd had in my entire life. OH WAIT, I forgot, WM was actually 15 mins earlier...ah, at least I have one friend who strive to be there on time no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bickering about it as I wait here typing on my MAC, but somehow...Malaysians find it hard to be on time. Why is that? Of course, the famous reason, would be one where they were stuck in a jam. For me, that is perhaps the only acceptable reason...aside from other emergencies.

I am not trying to harp on Malaysian's "tidak ketepatan masa," but in all honesty, the latest any of my appointments arive in Canada is 15 mins. They are usually on time. Meetings starts and ends on time (ok, excluding EW perhaps...)

I wonder if it is the mentality...we still have a "kampung" mentality that friends can "singgah" at any time and people are openly welcoming their house to the friend. Of course, that would work in a "kampung," but not really a city due to our busyness.

To make things look fairer, I have heard that Africans are on average late for 2 hours.

Perhaps we should make it a point to be on time. Being on time speaks a lot.