Let's talk about sex!
RE: What goes on in the Girls Bathroom Stalls
Anonymous said...
"is it wrong to have sex with someone else ..."
It is if you have to morally question yourself, and seek help from others anon to try to cope with it.. Yes even if it's NSA sex.
Realistically if there were no emotions involved with the cheating party, that would have to mean deep down that the relationship involves no core emotions. It's a reaching out for care of her needs.
Ask yourself: If the person you were in the relationship with, knew about, and didn't mind you were having sex with another person, would you care to be with them still?
No? Leave that bullshit relationship.
Yes? You better communicate that you need sex -- and that naturally, it's screwed up that they don't mind you're with others (not caring). So find someone new.
-ratpices
___________________________________________________
Ratpices, thanks for your comment. I agree with you in that sex "involves core emotions" and "is a reaching out for care of her needs." I think fundamentally when you have sex with someone, you actually care for them and want them to care for you. Sex is a very intimate act expressing your love to someone. It isn't just a physical act, but often involves core emotions as you are being vulnerable to that person in every way. And giving that person that much access to yourself constitutes trust and wanting love in return.
We often hear this:
Men give love to get sex
Women give sex to get love
But in reality, there has to be love between two people before you express your love in a physical way.
Agree?
Anonymous said...
"is it wrong to have sex with someone else ..."
It is if you have to morally question yourself, and seek help from others anon to try to cope with it.. Yes even if it's NSA sex.
Realistically if there were no emotions involved with the cheating party, that would have to mean deep down that the relationship involves no core emotions. It's a reaching out for care of her needs.
Ask yourself: If the person you were in the relationship with, knew about, and didn't mind you were having sex with another person, would you care to be with them still?
No? Leave that bullshit relationship.
Yes? You better communicate that you need sex -- and that naturally, it's screwed up that they don't mind you're with others (not caring). So find someone new.
-ratpices
___________________________________________________
Ratpices, thanks for your comment. I agree with you in that sex "involves core emotions" and "is a reaching out for care of her needs." I think fundamentally when you have sex with someone, you actually care for them and want them to care for you. Sex is a very intimate act expressing your love to someone. It isn't just a physical act, but often involves core emotions as you are being vulnerable to that person in every way. And giving that person that much access to yourself constitutes trust and wanting love in return.
We often hear this:
Men give love to get sex
Women give sex to get love
But in reality, there has to be love between two people before you express your love in a physical way.
Agree?
posted by Grace at 4/20/2006 10:43:00 PM
5 Comments:
Amen to that.
I wanted to find something in the Bible to take totally out of context and make a controversial comment that I don't actually agree with, but after about 5 minutes, I decided to stop trying. I did find a couple of amusing verses though:
"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him."
--Song of Songs 5:4 (KJV)
"Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman."
--1 Cor 7:1 (NASB)
I've heard that Hasidic Jews believe men and women shouldn't even touch before marriage. The reggae singer Matisyahu stopped diving off the stage into the audience because of this.
So I'm not sure what my point is. I'll stop rambling now.
Bring back polygamy! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
Alex,
You're quite hilarious! Ever thought of starting your own blog? I'll love to read your funny thoughts!
Anyways, yeah your excerpt from Song of Songs 5:4 totally grossed me out...so I decided it can't mean that!
I did a search for "bowels" on Merriam Webster Dictionary:
archaic : the seat of pity, tenderness, or courage -- usually used in plural
So I think it reads like this dude:
"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my 'tenderness' were moved for him."
As for the no touching till marriage, that's quite a wow...
but not diving off the stage coz of that is hilarious!
* Ratpices, thanks for your comment. I agree with you in that sex "involves core emotions" and "is a reaching out for care of her needs." I think fundamentally when you have sex with someone, you actually care for them and want them to care for you. Sex is a very intimate act expressing your love to someone. It isn't just a physical act, but often involves core emotions as you are being vulnerable to that person in every way. And giving that person that much access to yourself constitutes trust and wanting love in return.
Beyond the core emotions it requires, in the particular situation that was exemplified, was a clear searching for a different kind of feeling than what she was receiving from her partner. Probably non-mutuality. We are in agreement but it is unclear whether you are acknowledging the entirety of what I was expressing.
* We often hear this:
Men give love to get sex
Women give sex to get love
If you want to dichotomize gender roles within society. Do you consider yourself metaphorically 'other' as per Eve? What sort of rationalization of women do you perceive? Are you a deficient, chromosomatically? Biblically?
* But in reality, there has to be love between two people before you express your love in a physical way. Agree?
I don't think there _has_ to be for expressing love in a physical way.
example: kale loves elmo, elmo doesn't love kale, kale expresses physical love to elmo, and elmo reciprocates in kind to receive and give this physical feeling.
as we can see kale is expressing love, elmo is merely partaking in the physical action. This shows how it is possible not to be mutual love and still have physical sex with love involved.
If your 'has' statment is to be acknowledged you should state why it has to be so.
rewritten: 'the truest love situation to me is that there has to be love between two people before we express our love in a physical way.'
I would then, agree to that.
-ratpisces [I've spelled pisces wrong a few times :p]
ratpisces, (yeah, I was wondering why it was a different spelling too!)
* We often hear this:
Men give love to get sex
Women give sex to get love
This is a very general statement because essentially, that is how women and men are when relating to sex and love. Women would rather be romantically swept off her feet and be shown that she is loved than go straight to bed. Men, are a little impatient on the other hand.
*Are you a deficient, chromosomatically?
There really isn't the term 'chromosomatically' in the dictionary. But your question is a large one, and I really don't want to answer it here and now (considering I'm absolutely busy too!) If you would like, send me an email at meaningofgrace@gmail.com and I'll reply ya when things slow down a little bit.
* I don't think there _has_ to be [love] for expressing love in a physical way.
example: kale loves elmo, elmo doesn't love kale, kale expresses physical love to elmo, and elmo reciprocates in kind to receive and give this physical feeling.
well, to be honest I think that is the ideal ingredients to make a relationship work. It may be 'my' own opinion, but I think it is so very important we as a society try to make relationships/and family work again. If we simpy approach relationships in a casual manner and go sleeping around just for the heck of it, there are a lot of ramifications to the individual, to families and to society.
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